Interview with dh – in the beginning…

Me: How was it for you when we found out we were having twins?

Dh: A big shock. We found out in the scan [at 12 weeks]. It was the way he did it. He just said ‘It’s a twin pregnancy’  and carried on

Like we knew, and we didn’t know.

It was like, excuse me? What did you say?

You went quite white and you were holding my hand and suddenly I felt this pressure around my hand and it hurt!

Sorry…

You looked really frightened

I remember phoning my mum up afterwards and she laughed. She asked if they were ok but laughed first

Yeah. My Mum laughed as well.

It took a long time to sink in properly

When do you feel like it sunk in for you?

We didn’t buy anything to start with because we were moving house…so we waited until we’d moved and bought lots of stuff. That’s when we started choosing double buggies and buying two car seats

I was 6.5 months pregnant when we moved…so quite late on…it wasn’t until I was 7 months that we started buying stuff

First we had to buy sofas and beds for us!

So, even when we had the scan at 22 weeks and found out we were having girls it still didn’t really sink in for you?

I don’t think it does until they’re born really. It never seemed real before they were born. Even when they came home it was slightly unbelievable.  We just put them in the cot downstairs and they fell asleep. I just sat there and thought ‘I can’t believe there’s two babies in there’.

It was a shock because I’d read far too much on the Internet and was convinced that I would have premature babies and that I’d come home with you and we’d be going back to the hospital together to look after two slightly poorly babies

I spent a lot of time checking my phone at work in the last few weeks [of your pregnancy]

I remember going for a scan quite late on and you couldn’t come and it was the last scan I had before I gave birth and I phoned you to let you know how it had gone. You phoned me back at somewhere like London Bridge and you were so freaked that something had happened. I was sat at home on the computer being enormous!

It didn’t sink in until they’d been at home for a few days. The first night when you’re getting up and feeding them…it feels real then. When I was at the hospital and I had to change a nappy and you just have to get on with it. It’s not hard, it’s just a bit weird. No-one shows you what to do. Then I had to stick to partner visiting hours so I was at home watching telly and you were doing everything at the hospital with the children.

I remember a really nice thing you did for me, which was bringing me in a Brie & cranberry baguette that you’d made yourself.

You’d been denied lots of soft cheese.

Life for you didn’t really change at that point, I wasn’t there but then I used to do a lot of overnight stays at work so you were used to it

You came home quite quickly

With the benefit of hindsight maybe I came home too quickly.

I dunno….they weren’t really helping you [at the hospital] I wanted to help so I was glad you came home. If I could’ve stayed over in a private room with you it would’ve helped. I stayed overnight the other time [at 27 weeks when I had a kidney infection when we were put on the labour ward]. People were giving birth and there were lots of terrifying noises. There was that woman being induced.

They gave me a lot of morphine and something else that I think they got from a back street in Woolwich that made me hallucinate [I wore my cardboard sick cone as a hat]. That’s the nearest I’ll ever get to an illegal drug.

I don’t know why they’re so strict with partner visiting hours. You need the help. I could’ve hung around and fed them.

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