Naming the babies I’ll never have

My privileged position of having completed the baby-making stage of my life means that I’ll never go through the process of choosing a name for a child again. Occasionally I’ll hear or see a name and think ‘Ooh that’s good’ and I add it to my (highly unscientific) fantasy baby name list.

Each year the National Statistics baby names lists give me new inspiration. As I get older, the names I like get more ‘Out there’.  Years ago I spoke to someone who gave the first two of his three daughters’ perfectly normal, straightforward names (I can’t recall exactly but they were along the lines of Sarah and Laura). By the time his wife was pregnant with child 3 they were in a more…madcap….mood. They called their daughter Loveday. (If you’ve read that and not shouted LOVEJOY you’re infinitely more grown-up than I am). If I’d left having babies into my late thirties the girls would probably have much more unusual names. Not Lovejoyday though.

If we’d had twin boys back in 2007 they would have been called Thomas Glenn and Lewis Joseph. Thomas (Tom) was my choice and Lewis was very much Dh’s. I have to confess that I’m not terribly fond of the name Lewis but would’ve gone with it in the spirit of fairness. Children generally grow up to suit the name they’re given anyway.

Now, I think we’d choose differently. I rather like Isaac, maybe with Stirling as a middle name. I quite like Felix but it reminds me of a dog rather than a little boy, as does Jasper. We know siblings called Dexter and Austin which are, frankly, awesome names and an excellent ‘sibset’. Austin James is a good name. I like Reuben and Albie as well. I went through a (possibly) slightly eccentric phase of liking the name Dustin but I’m over it now.

It’s harder to think of names that I like aside from the ones we chose for the girls. I retain a fondness for Freya, which Dh dismissed out of hand very early on. I liked Ava until it became a bit too popular with D-list celebrities. Esme has been ruined for me by the Twilight Saga. I surprised myself recently when I realised that I rather liked the name Heidi but what on earth would you have as the middle name?

I was hoping that I would be able to inflict give some of these names to our pets but the girls named Charlie, Lola, Kitty and the zillions of fish we’ve murdered killed so I think they’ve taken on that responsibility. Based on the names I’ve mentioned above, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

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